Praises of a Wife and Mommy

Today was a milestone I’ve been waiting for: putting both of my shoes on again. My PT finally gave me the okay to put on my regular shoe without the boot, and let me tell you… the feeling was so strange. It almost felt like my foot forgot what a shoe was. At first I hated the feeling of confinement — the pressure, the snugness, the “why does this feel like a straightjacket for my foot?” moment. But deep down I knew that the freedom it would bring was far more important than the discomfort of the transition. With the boot, everything has felt bulky, slow, and heavy. But slipping into a normal shoe felt like stepping into the next chapter — like my body is slowly remembering what healing feels like. My PT gave me the freedom to choose: Wear both shoes and walk with crutches, or Stick with the boot but move without crutches. It’s funny how healing always seems to present us with choices — comfort or growth, old patterns or new steps, fear or faith. I’m choosing the shoes… and the crut...

It began with a three-hour car ride to Selah’s All-State concert—three hours of excitement, pride, and honestly, a little nervousness about how my Achilles would hold up. But some moments are worth the effort, and celebrating her accomplishments was absolutely one of them. When we finally arrived, the Hilton Coliseum felt ginormous. People everywhere, long hallways, stairs, noise, lights—just a whole world bigger than what I’ve been navigating lately. But with my crutches in hand, we made our way in. I crutched farther that day than I had in a long time… including up a set of bleachers to get to our seats. Once I settled, I knew there was no going back down until the concert was over. At one point I was so thirsty, and the thought of navigating those steps again felt impossible. My sweet husband went to get me water—five dollars for bottled water (ridiculous!)—but he came back with it anyway. Acts of love don't always look big, but they mean everything in moments like these.  Then ...

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Today felt like a breakthrough. Even in my long bright socks it was a breakthrough! My husband made an addition to our treadmill so I could walk with less weight on my body, giving me a chance to move without the full pressure of my injury. We hooked everything up, I stepped in, and suddenly… I was only carrying about 70 pounds of my weight. And then—I walked. Not for 2 minutes. Not for 10 minutes. But 30 whole minutes. THAT was a huge milestone for me. A victory I didn’t see coming this soon. And the best part? I walked in my own tennis shoes, without the boot. It felt like freedom. Like a little glimpse of the “me” I remember. This healing journey has been slow, humbling, and emotional… but today reminded me that progress doesn’t have to be fast to be meaningful. Milestones matter. Even the small ones. Especially the small ones. Scripture came alive for me today: ✨ “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” —Zechariah 4:10 God cele...

After 14 weeks of rest and healing, I’m starting to notice parts of my body changing… and not in the ways I hoped. I worked so hard these last two years—losing weight, keeping it off, getting stronger—and it feels like in a matter of weeks so much of that progress has slipped away. Maybe “gone up in smoke” isn’t the best analogy, but it does feel hard. Really hard. Gaining 10 pounds in this healing journey has been discouraging. It honestly hurts my heart.  Just to be vulnerable I was 130 pounds this morning... this is knowing that I have lost a lot of muscle and in it's place sits more squish.   But I also know I can’t stay angry or sad! I have to shift my mindset and make some changes, slowly and realistically. Because the truth is—this weight isn’t just from lack of activity. I have to admit my diet has been rough. I haven’t been journaling my food because adding one more thing to my plate felt impossible. But now I’m ready to start trying again. I need new ideas. Hea...

Last week I had to make a hospital visit to someone from church. I put on my pastoral hat and went with one of our other pastors so we could go together. When I walked into the lobby, I was immediately distracted, in the best way, by the giant Christmas tree shining in the corner. It was gorgeous, tall, sparkling, and absolutely begging me to take a picture with it. I love the white lights sparkling and the red and silver added it.  So of course… I did. A selfie and a full-tree shot. Because why not?! This morning on social media I decided to have a little fun and asked my friends and family to guess where I took the picture. And honestly—it worked! People actually engaged. Some used great inference skills, remembering I’ve had physical therapy visits and doctor appointments. Others just guessed hospitals or clinics. It made me smile. I didn’t expect something so simple to bring such joy. But the truth is… sometimes these little silly moments are exactly what our hearts need. A...

  Today I was surprised with the sweetest fall flowers from Anthony and Selah. The bouquet was full of warm autumn colors, but what made me smile the most was the little hen-and-chick plant tucked right in the middle. I don’t know who decided that succulents belong in a fall bouquet, but honestly… it works. It made the whole arrangement feel unique, a little quirky, and full of personality — kind of like our family. And yes, it’s hilarious that these fall flowers are now sitting on the table with the Christmas tree glowing in the background. Only in our house can you find pumpkins, flowers, and a tree all sharing the same space. But maybe that’s the perfect picture of this season: healing and growth happening right in the middle of what feels out of order, out of rhythm, and not quite matching the “timeline” we planned. That’s exactly what healing has been like for me — beauty and struggle, hope and heaviness, progress mixed with setbacks. A bouquet of emotions all sitting side by ...

It was a worshipful night, and I felt privileged to simply watch and join in. There was a stillness over the room, the kind that only settles when hearts turn toward the Lord. The worship team was preparing a new song for Sunday, and as they practiced, a calmness—almost a holy hush—filled the space. The talent in the room was undeniable, but the presence of the Lord was felt even more. It was loud but not dramatic. It was quiet, steady, and peaceful—like God was reminding us that He often moves most deeply in the gentle moments. I was tired that night, so instead of pushing myself, I just sat and rested in the seeking moment. And even that felt like worship. Sometimes worship looks like singing loudly. Sometimes it looks like raising your hands and dancing and even screaming or crying or laying on the floor.   And sometimes it simply looks like sitting still and letting your soul breathe again. Scriptures that came to mind: “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 “I...

We are those people… the ones who put the Christmas tree up before Thanksgiving. Honestly, the last few years we’ve put it up on Halloween because—why not?! But this year we were out of town for Selah’s cross-country meet, so we planned to decorate the first Sunday after. That Sunday ended up being a really rough emotional day for me in this healing process, so we postponed it. Last weekend finally became the day, and it turned into such a beautiful evening. Hot chocolate was made with lots of add in choices. We watched “Elf” after the tree was done, my husband has been asking to watch it for weeks already. The house was buzzing with movement, laughter, and Christmas music. And I just sat back, taking it all in. I watched everyone put the lights on the tree and hang the ornaments… though I did direct my husband about where to place the first ornament. I mean—some ornaments are favorites and need to be exactly where I can see them, right? As I watched my people decorate, I felt this dee...

Last week was something I’ll never forget. We got to see the Northern Lights right here in Iowa, something I’ve always dreamed of witnessing. Science explains that a solar storm made it possible for the skies in our area to light up… but I can’t help but see the hand of God in it all. Psalm 19:1 kept echoing in my heart: “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.” And wow… they truly did. It started when I stepped out onto the deck and caught the faint glow in the sky. That was all it took—we grabbed the boy and headed to the school football field where it’s a bit darker and more “country.” Even on the drive there, we saw soft streaks of pink glowing across the sky. When we finally parked and looked up, the sky began shifting with greens and pinks, dancing slowly, almost shyly, but so full of wonder. Yes, I know the cameras can pick up colors and movements our eyes can’t fully capture… but I will forever carry a handful of images in my mind that I...

This week I found myself standing over my beautiful purple flowers, now beginning to wilt. Their petals were drooping, their strength fading yet somehow, they were still stunning. The purple still glowed. The softness still invited a closer look. Even in their down-trodden state, there was beauty. It struck me as a simple but powerful reminder: Even in broken moments, there is still beauty. Even in seasons where God is pruning, refining, or breaking things off of us, there is still goodness worth praising Him for. Jesus said, “Every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2). Pruning doesn’t feel pretty. Wilted seasons don’t look strong. But they are part of a holy process, one that leads to deeper life. Those purple flowers reminded me of a few things:  1. Purple is the color of royalty. (I know I have said that a few times)  Even wilted, they carried royal beauty. It’s a picture of the truth that our identity in Christ is not based on how s...

  It was Flannel Day in town — you know, one of those small-town events to get more to come to town to go to the shops. The boy and I put on our best flannel and headed downtown. I was determined, crutches and all, to enjoy the day! We stopped at the gas station where they were giving out free donuts (who doesn’t love free donuts?). I only had a couple of bites, but the boy? Let’s just say he had no problem finishing two donuts and was very proud of it. Then we wandered into one of the local shops and sampled some dips — and let me tell you, I could have stayed there all afternoon “sampling.” Titus actually bought a couple Christmas presents at this shop!   The weather was warm, the fall colors were putting on their best show, and Titus made it his personal mission to find every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. There’s just something about those fall sounds, the crisp crunch of leaves, laughter in the air, and the rustle of wind through the trees  hat makes you slow dow...

My husband, being the personal trainer that he is, saw me gaining more mobility and immediately went into full “trainer-engineer” mode. Before I knew it, our treadmill had a brand-new weight assist attachment! (Who needs fancy gym equipment when you’ve got a husband with tools and determination?) In all seriousness though my husband finds a way to recreate things when they normally cost thousands of dollars... I truly am blessed!  He rigged it up so I could walk safely and build strength without overdoing it. I took my first slow, careful walk on it, then proudly showed it to my physical therapist. She smiled, nodded, and gave me the green light—so that officially made it PT approved!  I think I started with 30 pounds of assist and then went to about 45 pounds off. (When I got off I felt so heavy... I quickly realized how nice it was to walk with a lot less weight.)   And then it happened… I walked—with a limp, yes—but I walked. I walked slowly—but I walked. I held t...

  My scooter again became loose and was moving my knee all over the place.  My son was the fix it again and I am so glad my knee is not moving all over the place anymore.  I guess a screw came out so he ended up finding the screw I think in his car and was able to get it back in and safe for me.   Thanks Titus... Also, I am pretty sure you are learning how to be an amazing husband with this injury recovery time for me.  Thank you for always helping me and just showing love in action to me! 

Another glorious sunrise and a new week. The weekend before was one of those hard ones. The kind where you feel like the world is testing your patience, your faith, and your pain tolerance all at once. It started at Texas Roadhouse. I should have known that crutches and their slick floors don’t mix well. It felt like someone had poured oil under me. I just did not understand why the floor seemed so slippery as they don't even allow you to throw the peanut shells on the floor so its not like the peanut oil is on the floor.  I made it through the meal, but I was super slow walking and very anxious with every step there.   Then came Sam’s Club. It was raining, and those painted parking lines were like ice. I got out of the car, slipped, and screamed as pain shot through my leg. I froze in fear, praying immediately that nothing serious had happened. My heart was pounding, and all I could do was whisper, “Jesus, please let me be okay.” I used one of those motorized carts in th...

The Heart of Hope Gala night finally arrived—the one where I spent more money on a dress than I probably should have. But it was worth it. I’ve already planned to wear it again at the end of the month, so that makes it a smart investment, right? The evening was beautiful from start to finish. Our church was honored with an award for helping the ministry, and I felt so humbled and proud to be part of a community that truly serves others. Listening to the testimonies and stories of how this ministry has touched so many lives in our area moved me deeply. Each story reminded me that small acts of love and obedience can make an eternal difference.  I even got to meet the mayor of our Rock Island! He was kind and encouraging, especially when he noticed my crutches and boot. He told me to keep smiling and to keep pressing forward—it was such a sweet reminder that people do notice when you keep your joy, even in hard seasons. Proverbs 19:17 says, “Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the L...

After finishing up physical therapy, I didn’t have time to go home before Selah’s cross-country banquet, so Titus and I decided to make a quick stop at Kohl’s. He needed some new pants and a winter jacket, and I figured I could handle a short shopping trip. But about halfway through, my energy decided to leave the building. One minute I was walking the aisles, and the next, I was sitting on the floor. Yep. Right there in Kohl’s. No shame, no hesitation just me, my purse, and a display of discounted sweaters as my new audience. Sometimes healing doesn’t wait for convenient moments. Sometimes your body just says, “Nope, we’re sitting now.” And honestly? That’s okay. I’ve learned that part of healing—both physically and spiritually—is knowing when to pause instead of pushing through. I had to laugh, though. I’m sure a few people walked by wondering what I was doing down there, but I just smiled. I’ve decided that sitting in Kohl’s can be holy ground when you let God meet you there. Isaiah...

We were supposed to put up the Christmas tree last weekend. Yes, we’re that family, you know the ones who love to put it up early, turn on the lights, and let the house fill with that cozy Christmas feeling before most people even start thinking about it. But this time, I just couldn’t do it. As some of my posts have mentioned, there are days in this healing journey when I’m just not okay. This was one of those days. I felt overwhelmed and tired from everything that needed to be done, drained from the pace of life, and still hurting from a late-night conversation that had left my heart heavy. The joy I usually carry felt out of reach. I didn’t have the energy or the “sparkle” to be the cheerful one or the encourager. I felt weak and empty. But my family saw it. They noticed. And they didn’t push. They didn’t guilt me into doing more or remind me of the to-do list. They simply let me rest. They gave me grace. And honestly, that grace was the best gift I could have received that night. ...

Sometimes it’s the little, silly things that can cheer me up, like sparkling water. I don’t know what it is about all the different kinds out there—orange crea, strawberry mango, peach, or whatever fancy flavor someone came up with this week—but it feels like a treat without the calories. There’s something about cracking open that can, hearing that pfffft, and taking that first fizzy sip that makes a hard day feel just a little more doable. Now, I know it’s just water with bubbles. It’s not a cure-all for stress or healing or emotional days, but it’s funny how even the smallest things can lift our mood. Maybe it’s the reminder that refreshment doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes, the Lord uses the ordinary to bring a smile to our faces and remind us of His goodness in the middle of our messy, tired, “I just need a break” kind of days. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.” Matthew 5:6 That verse hits different when you’re sipping s...

  It’s a more common problem for homes with larger gardens than you might think. A lot of people are glad to have plenty of space, but aren’t certain what they can do with it. Not utilizing the full potential of your exterior is not only a waste of the space you have, but it might stop your home from reaching the potential value that it could be worth, too. For that reason, we’re going to look at some practical, recreational, and overall quality of life-improving upgrades to your outdoor space that are worth considering.  Credit - CC0 License Decide What Your Priorities Are Before you decide what you want to do with the space that you have, you have to consider what it is that you’re currently missing. Do you need a functional space, such as somewhere to work or extra space to cook? Are you looking for quality of life upgrades that can help you relax and enjoy your space a little more? Or are you more focused on maintaining the value or even the aesthetic attractiveness of the...