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Parenting: When to say "YES" and when to say "No" and why!

I have noticed more and more that it can be so easy to try to please people.   I like to help people by lessening their stress so I will say "yes" to helping what ever task it might be.  In the last couple years I have started to use "no" more often!  There is a great balance in the yes/no battle.  


I also have noticed in me that I like to please my kids which when I look at it more closely could become a dangerous thing.  As a parent I of course want my children to have fun and love me.  I have been blessed with 2 great children and the tempers I see from them really are not bad at all compared to other children I have witnessed.  I work with children and have for years so I have seen several different cases where I wonder if a parent is afraid of seeing the bad behavior again so instead of saying "NO" they give in.  Many parents are gaining instant happy children but can that harm them?  If always giving in and not staying consistent because of fear of a behavior or intimidation you are teaching your children entitlement.  They have gotten in the habit of getting what they want when they want it because over and over again you have allowed it.  Parents we have to stay firm on boundaries and carry out the consequences when our children push them and break them.   What ever the consequence may be ask yourself if you have actually given a consequence when it was due or have you allowed your children to stretch the boundary a little bit further each time? 


Now, "Yes" is a very important and encouraging word that our kids do need to hear as much as the no's.  Make sure you let your children explore and have fun and balance out your yes/no's!  


Biggest thing to remember for me while parenting is seeking HIM for guidance!  When I am pleasing God and doing what HE has called me to do I will be a better parent! 

Comments

Diane and Chad said…
As authors and presenters of parenting forums, we advocate the use of 'maybe'. 'Yes', when you can...'no', when necessary and then stick with it....and 'maybe' when you need time to think about it. Any questioning or whining from the kids turns the 'maybe' into an automatic 'no'. worked well for us...

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