Skip to main content

Ten Years..."The Lord Comforts the Broken Hearted

Well it is 11:26 pm here and I can't sleep.  i know 10 years ago I was not sleeping either nor anyone else in my family.  Saying good bye to my mother 10 years ago still hurts...  the tears tonight came unexpectedly.  I was determined that now after 10 years I would not need to cry yet I'm awake and wiping my nose and eyes.  

This post is truly my thoughts during this time, probably lots of typos will be involved but I just feel the need to write.  Sorry but this will be a ramble with tears and memories.

If you want to know how my mom passed away and more details of that first year then feel free to read my post from last year.  

This year I was thinking I wanted to do something fun to celebrate and remember my mom but here I sit with no ideas and a broken heart.  I cry because I miss her, I wish she would have met my husband and my two kids,  because I wonder what she would do in this or that situation.

I even got mad that I was crying because I did not want to cry and I even told my husband, "ugg this is so stupid."  I am so glad I have a great husband.

Before I used to get angry or even jealous of people older then me who still have their mama but now I just try to remind them to spend time and love on their moms.  I now get angry if I see a boy or girl younger then me who has lost one of their parents.  It is not fair!!  I know life is not fair I trust me I understand that this world is broken and is craving for Jesus.  So I know bad things happen.

I am saddened and angry that even after 10 years there is no solid cure for Leukemia.  I do know some people who are in remission or fighting and I hope they know I am their biggest cheerleaders and prayer warrior.  I know fighting cancer has gotten better as well as better detection but I am still angry that there is no cure.

My sister was inspiring this year and did the Light the Night walk for Leukemia and I am planning on doing it next year.  She also got a cute little butterfly with a orange ribbon (leukemia color) in it. She is trying to convince me to get one but I really do not want to do that.  I think my brother is also getting a tattoo to remember my mommy.  

The other thing I was thinking of doing was getting a large health blizzard because that was my mom's ice cream of choice.  A bit lame and not much for celebrating but I seriously sit here and my mind is blank on her other favorite things???  HELP... MEMORIES WHERE ARE YOU?

I was even searching for ideas on how to celebrate 10 year anniversary of death and did not come up with much... maybe I should have searched how to celebrate 46 years of life and 10 years with Jesus!?   So honestly I just Googled that and my search results were about passover and Jesus.  Interesting!

So I have even spammed both my brother and sister via text this evening and I am sure they both work in the morning so I have not heard a response from them.  I hope they are not annoyed my me.

If you have any ideas I would love to hear them.  I think I just let this day sneak up on me and then I get mad I did not plan something fun and then my mind wanders and I allow sadness to sink in.  Suck a stupid cycle...

Jesus is my comfort and I know he is going to bless me with good sleep which I am going to go try to do now.   He truly helped me through the last ten years!

Hug your loved ones more and kiss them daily.  Enough typing time to get in the WORD and find Peace in HIM.

GOOD NIGHT!  Please pray for me through out the day (Tuesday the 30th).  THANKS

Comments

Sue Hull said…
I'm so sorry you lost your mom.I can't even imagine losing mine.I'm almost 48 and my mom is 68.I have a suggestion. You can write a letter to your mom and tie it to a balloon of her fave color,then let it go.Keeing a journal might help too.
I lost a friend who passed away unexpectably.Looking at his picture still makes me cry.He died 10 yrs ago.
Death is so hard to accept. Even tho I'm sure you know your mom is with Jesus and you'll her again.I'm a Christian and I know He will always take care of me.
Last yr I had cancer,hodgkins lymphoma.I had my awesome family here for me.Jesus was there for me through my whole journey.I'm fine now and I give all the Glory & Praise to Him.
Just rememver things will get better.Jesus loves you so much and He knows you're hurting and that's ok.I will keep in my daily prayers. Have A Happy Halloween! God Bless
Thanks Sue! I am glad you have beat your hodgkins and giving HIM the glory! AWESOME I love hearing these positive stories of healing!

Popular posts from this blog

6 Word Saturday

My bed is calling my name!  

Knot Genie Review and Giveaway

If you have a little girl and have not heard of the Knot Genie then you need to watch the following video:   "The Knot Genie™ and Teeny Genie™ Detangling Brushes were created for every mom that has endured the foot stomping and screaming matches that come with brushing their child's hair. With the Knot Genie, even the curliest, most knotted up hair practically slips through the unique bristle configuration – gently and painlessly. Try the Knot Genie on your kids (or on yourself) – you'll be amazed by the ease of brushing, as well as how it virtually stops breakage and split ends. You've wished for hair brushing standoffs to end. Wish granted." My Review:  Thanks to the Knot Genie for sending me the product to conduct my review.  I was not paid for this review and all opinions expressed are 100% mine.  I know I have grown so tired of my daughter coming to tears every morning when we did her hair. I was becoming to think she was the most

Dry Idea: Deodorant Review and Giveaway

I know most of you know I was at kids camp last week and I think I mentioned the humidity and heat that we had that week!  I was daring as I only brought my new Dry Idea  deodorant  that I had never used prior.  I had no idea if it was going to keep me from smelling like B.O or if I was going to have sweaty pits. So how did the Dry Idea hold up to the hot and humid days at kids camp???  Arms raised high during worship in the morning and in the evening!  :)  I was dry and I did not stink!  :) WOOT WOOT!  I had the unscented brand and I usually do prefer a pretty scent but it worked and they do have scents which include powder fresh and cotton dry that I might try in the future.  :) The Dry Idea Roll-On is 24 hour protection, fast drying MicroCotton Formula, hypo allergenic, and contains Vitamin E.  :) Don't like roll on's??  They do offer Clear Gel and an Invisible Solid.  :) Dry Idea provided a free sample of their Advanced Dry roll-On so I could review them.  However,