Skip to main content

Top 10 Reasons Siblings Fight and How to Stop Them

I feel very blessed that for the most part my kids get along very well.  This article is a guest post from  I would like to add that when you teach and use an honor system there is also much less opportunity for fighting to occur! Also, always remember to set a good example for your children!   

Fights between siblings are so common they are practically a rite of passage of growing up. Even the most well-behaved children fight from time to time, and the fights are often over the silliest things. (Toys, candy, shoes, you name it.) While fighting can be a normal childhood behavior, it can also lead to serious stress, both for the kids and the parents. Too much sibling aggression can lead to depression and anger in children, too. The key to stopping it is figuring out what is causing the fights. Here are the biggest reasons siblings fight:
1. Spending Too Much Time Together
Anytime people spend as much time together as siblings do, arguments are bound to happen. After seeing the same person all day every day, siblings are sometimes simply ready for a break. Sometimes children need a chance to pursue separate activities without brothers or sisters tagging along.
2. They’ve Got Different PersonalitiesPersonality conflicts are another common cause of sibling fighting. When one sibling prefers to play quiet games and the other prefers rambunctious games, someone is bound to not get his or her way. While parents can try to plan activities that all the children will enjoy, sometimes children have to take turns getting their way.
3. They Perceive Favoritism
Whether or not parents and caregivers actually have a favorite child, the children usually think they do. This perceived favoritism can cause children to lash out for attention. Children always know which child gets the most praise, even if parents are unaware of the difference.
4. They Have Difficulty Sharing
Unless parents buy duplicates of every toy that they bring in the house, at some point children are going to have to learn how to share. While this difficulty usually gets easier as the children grow up a bit, it can be a long process.

5. They Have Unequal Privileges

As children get older, they usually get more privileges. Younger children may feel this is unfair, and they may be right. Even within the same family, the age limits for various activities often changes with successive children.

6. They’re Jealous of Each Other

One is better at school while the other is better at sports. One excels in music while the other wins pageants. It is no secret which family members excel at which activities and which do not. Those who do not excel may feel jealous of the praised sibling, even if they excel in other ways.
7. They’re Unable to Handle Disagreements and Frustrations
Sometimes children, young children especially, do not know how to handle disagreements and frustrations. Instead of talking out problems and finding a good solution, siblings will often turn to fighting to get their way.
8. They Lack Boundaries or Personal Space
Whether they are constantly in the baby’s face or reading their older sister’s diary, sometimes children do not understand boundaries or personal space. Sometimes fighting is the only way that children know how to get their siblings to leave them alone.
9. There Are Accidents and Misunderstandings
Not all fighting is the result of a purposeful wrongdoing. A child may accidentally hurt a sibling or take a toy he didn’t know his sibling was still playing with. Rather than talk over the situation, children often turn to fighting to solve the problem.
10. They Need a Safe Person
Families are people that love each other no matter what, and children know this. If a child starts a fight with a friend, he may lose that friend. If he starts a fight with a brother or sister, he can work off some of his aggression without losing a friend. Siblings provide a safe way for children to get out some of their pent-up frustrations.
How to Stop Sibling Fighting
The best way to stop sibling fighting really depends on why the siblings are fighting in the first place, but there are a few general strategies parents can implement to help siblings keep the peace. First of all, parents should cultivate a loving, accepting environment for their children instead of a competitive one. Siblings should be encouraged to support each other and cheer for each other’s successes. Parents should avoid comparing siblings, even if the comparison seems harmless. (This applies to all areas: grades, personality, athletics, etc.) When siblings are busy looking for ways to build up their brothers and sisters, they are not busy finding ways to tear them down.
Secondly, parents and caregivers should teach children how to solve conflicts peacefullyand then only intervene when necessary. Children need to be taught skills such as taking turns, asking permission before borrowing others’ possessions, and finding ways to play together peacefully. Once they have been taught how to do this, they should be left mostly alone to practice these skills. If you’re constantly stepping in to be the moderator, children never learn how to solve problems for themselves.
Lastly, parents should set a good example for their children of how to interact appropriately with other people. If parents are constantly yelling at the children, the children will learn to yell. If parents talk negatively about other people, the children will learn to do this as well. By modeling appropriate behavior, parents will teach their children the proper way to behave.
Raising siblings is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. With the right guidance and attitude, you can teach your children not only to stop fighting, but to lean on each other as they grow up.


Anonymous said…
Wow, that's what I was searching for, what a material! present here at this web site, thanks admin of this web page.

Feel free to surf to my web blog ...

Popular posts from this blog

Top Tips for Moms Taking Online Degrees

  Online degrees can often be the best option for moms who want to get back into education due to their flexibility and the wide range of subjects that there are available for them to study. However, online degrees are not always plain sailing, and to make sure that you can get the grade that you deserve, read on for some top tips for moms interested in taking online degrees.  Choose the Right Degree Choosing the right online degree is vital to your success. Picking a subject that you are passionate about and that you have a natural talent for will ensure that you can breeze through your course and ensure that you have the motivation to continue even when you do struggle. If you are looking for an online degree that is perfect for moms, a Bank Street Early Childhood Leadership certificate can help you to advance your career in teaching, build upon your previous qualifications, and allow you to get a career that can be easily juggled with the commitments of parenting.  Balance Family a

Liquid Chalk spray! Chalk Idea #7

Last week we tried out the fizzing sidewalk chalk- click here to read that review. This week it is liquid chalk spray.  They are a bit similar but yet different.  Here is how to make it: Supplies: 1 tsp. washable tempura paint 1 cup of hot water 1/2 cup of cornstarch squirt of dishwashing liquid 1 squirt bottle- I found them at the dollar store 1.  Add cornstarch to one cup of hot water whisking to mix so that there are no clumps. 2.  Add one teaspoon of washable tempura paint and a quirt of dishwashing liquid.  Mix well. 3.  Pour it into your squirt bottles and shake well. 4.  Go have fun!!!   This kept my daughters attention much longer the the fizzy chalk last week.  I also think this was easier to work with and just more fun in general.  I love seeing the chalk wet but then to see it dry.  I think it dried darker so it was fun to see the changes.  :)  Ready, Set, Go!  Have some fun! She is my little model... she kept saying "take my picture mom." She is like her

Toddler Rainbow Craft for St. Patricks Day

St. Patrick's day is March 17th so its approaching quickly.  I have a few ideas on art and food projects that i want to do with the kiddos.  Hopefully I will have enough time to complete them and share them with you.   This was a super easy one for those little hands.  I cut the stripes of colored paper but if you are working with a preschooler or school aged child then they can practice cutting.  The two toddler boys here only had to glue the pieces on their piece of paper.  EASY, but they enjoyed it!  :)  It sure has brightened my kitchen with them hanging on the fridge!  :)   I also talked more about the Promise God gave us with the rainbow since I know that history a whole lot better then the history of the Irish Holiday!