Missing you 13 years...


Why is it that when I was younger I was too stubborn to dance the polka with you and tonight I look at this picture and say "I'm sorry mom, lets dance the night away."   Tonight as I was getting ready for our normal Bible story time I wanted to reflect and share a little bit about my mom with my kids.   13 years ago I was a scared 18 year old girl forced to say good bye to her dying mama.  I tried so hard to keep it simple for a 8 and 4 year old to understand tonight and yet I lost it and the tears came flooding.   In those tears I realized that even though my children have never met Grandma Bette they still have a hole in their heart.  It is safe to say that Selah and I shared some tears tonight which finally did end up in laughter and good snuggles.  You see I know that our days here on earth are numbered.  I know we all face our struggles and we all have the reality of death but friends don't be defeated in those thoughts.   If their is one thing I have learned through grief and death is LIFE!  I am so thankful that without a doubt I know my mom met her Savior, JESUS, 13 years ago tomorrow.   I know that my mom had a life transformation when I was 12 years old when she surrendered her selfish life to a life that would honor God.   I am certain that even after all these years that she has been gone from our lives that she would want us to know that Jesus is the worlds Savior, that no matter the choices we have made that he is our forgiver, our redeemer, and lover of our souls.   Mom I miss you and there will be a day when I see your face and hear your laugh and I am so thankful that you helped me build a foundation in knowing that truth.   If you are like me and miss my mom then let me ask you this... if you were to meet Jesus tonight would you be staying with him or would he send you away because he doesn't know you?   Make sure you know, make sure you ask questions, make sure you seek and ask him to reveal himself to you.  Because even in my weak moments when the sadness of my mom's death creeps in and grief strikes me and I selfishly get angry because I have missed her the last 13 years I am reminded that the Joy of seeing her again will come!  I miss and love you mom!   

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