Skip to main content

The Best Ways to Help an Alcoholic Family Member

Alcoholism is an incredibly far-reaching disease. It will affect every member of a household in one way or another, and every time it does it makes it harder for the sufferer to recover. There’s nothing worse than watching somebody you love as they get taken under the influence of the drug, alcohol, or as it’s known to recovering alcoholics, the Spider. It’s called that because it’s incredibly good at playing tricks on people and pulling them into its web. It takes enormous strength to fight it.
Prayer
First and foremost you need to give God this problem for yourself and for your family member. We need to rely on God's strength through it all. Some days might be harder which is why we need to keep the faith and hope in our heavenly father to take care of our needs during this process.
Acceptance
Don’t accept circumstances as they are – you need the strength to change them – but to do that, you’re going to have to accept somethings. Accept the problem, that this is a problem, a big one – and that means don’t let your instincts to hide it or cover it up kick in, even though it can be hideously embarrassing. Often, when you try to brush alcoholism under the carpet, you allow it to continue. Most of the time, it won’t be your embarrassment that you’re trying to protect yourself from but their embarrassment you’re trying to protect them from. They need to face some consequences and embarrassing situations if they’re going to realize it’s a problem. However, you also need to accept that recovery will be difficult for them, and you need to accept that in order to win this they’ll need to change, and the change will need to be accepted.
Timing
You need to get your timing right if this is going to be a success. Firstly, don’t even bother trying to rationalize the problem to them if they’re under the influence. You need to tell them what it’s doing to them, to you, and to the family, but choose a calm environment when they aren’t under the influence. A support network needs to know when the problem is at its worst, and they need to be able to hang in there and stay strong. You also need to know when they’re serious enough to get The Token Shop AA tokens for their first 24-hour chip.
Boundaries
It’s great that you’re so committed to helping somebody who’s capable of causing so much harm, but it won’t be any help if you become so worn out that you either can’t keep up the support or you begin to need just as much help yourself. There’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself from the disease – the best way might be refusing to bail them out of an arrest, or even refusing to have them in the house when they’re under the influence. Don’t take any form of abuse, and make your boundaries clear so that any abuse is obvious to both of you.
Manipulation

It isn’t a pretty disease, and it’s called the Spider for a reason – it isn’t just the sufferer who gets pulled into the web. One of the best things you can do is encourage them to get support from Alcoholics Anonymous, but be rational not manipulative. Be aware when you’re being manipulated into enabling or financing the habit, bailing them out of (or ‘padding’) embarrassing consequences or even accepting any abuse yourself. If you’re going to help them, then you need to stay strong, and if you’re going to stay strong, you need to maintain strong boundaries.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Top Tips for Moms Taking Online Degrees

  Online degrees can often be the best option for moms who want to get back into education due to their flexibility and the wide range of subjects that there are available for them to study. However, online degrees are not always plain sailing, and to make sure that you can get the grade that you deserve, read on for some top tips for moms interested in taking online degrees.  Choose the Right Degree Choosing the right online degree is vital to your success. Picking a subject that you are passionate about and that you have a natural talent for will ensure that you can breeze through your course and ensure that you have the motivation to continue even when you do struggle. If you are looking for an online degree that is perfect for moms, a Bank Street Early Childhood Leadership certificate can help you to advance your career in teaching, build upon your previous qualifications, and allow you to get a career that can be easily juggled with the commitments of parenting.  Balance Family a

Liquid Chalk spray! Chalk Idea #7

Last week we tried out the fizzing sidewalk chalk- click here to read that review. This week it is liquid chalk spray.  They are a bit similar but yet different.  Here is how to make it: Supplies: 1 tsp. washable tempura paint 1 cup of hot water 1/2 cup of cornstarch squirt of dishwashing liquid 1 squirt bottle- I found them at the dollar store 1.  Add cornstarch to one cup of hot water whisking to mix so that there are no clumps. 2.  Add one teaspoon of washable tempura paint and a quirt of dishwashing liquid.  Mix well. 3.  Pour it into your squirt bottles and shake well. 4.  Go have fun!!!   This kept my daughters attention much longer the the fizzy chalk last week.  I also think this was easier to work with and just more fun in general.  I love seeing the chalk wet but then to see it dry.  I think it dried darker so it was fun to see the changes.  :)  Ready, Set, Go!  Have some fun! She is my little model... she kept saying "take my picture mom." She is like her

Sensory, Easter Bath

What little girl or boy would not enjoy this sensory experience in the bath tub?  :)  Put your Easter eggs in along with the fake grass and have some fun!  You can do an egg search and cover with the grass too!  I think this is a new tradition in our house!