Praises of a Wife and Mommy

 Whew… the emotions have been running high this past week. Some of it is probably because my daughter just had her birthday—and not just any birthday—but the big one . She’s officially an adult. I’ve loved every single stage of raising her, and even though she’s “grown up,” I know she’ll still need me. I think what stirred me even deeper was reflecting back on my own 18th birthday. Just a month before I turned 18, my mom was diagnosed with leukemia. I’ll never forget visiting her at a hotel while she was receiving treatments. She was tired, drained from chemo, and it was heartbreaking to see as her daughter. That birthday ended up being my last with her, as she passed away that October. So, as I celebrate my daughter’s 18th, I can’t help but treasure every moment… while also fighting those sneaky little fears that try to creep in. Thoughts like, “What if I leave her young, too?” The enemy likes to whisper lies in moments of weakness, especially while I’m recovering from this inj...

 The rhythm of my days lately is filled with phrases like: “Please will you…?” “Thank you for…” “I need help…”  "Thank you" "Thank you"  "Oh I appreciate that so much"  It’s a nonstop reminder that my body is not 100% yet, and I’m still in the middle of healing. If I’m honest, it’s humbling. I really do desire to do things on my own. I want to jump back into walking, driving, cooking, and even just taking a simple evening walk with my husband—which is something we love doing together. I long to show up at my kids’ activities without a scooter or wheelchair tagging along.  I can tell you that I made dinner last Friday night.... haha I put pizza and chicken nuggets in the oven because well... that was my best after a long week of work.   I was okay with it and I heard no one complaining either!  But here’s where I think God is teaching me: it’s not weakness to ask for help. It’s wisdom. And maybe, just maybe, part of this season is about learni...

 The first weekend of September, my mother-in-law and her boyfriend came for a visit. I was excited to see family, but I’ll be honest—there was also some nervousness. Would I be too tired? Too sore? Would my healing hold us back from doing things together? They arrived Friday evening, which just so happened to be Eddie’s birthday. With everyone’s schedules, we kept it simple—pizza and then out for ice cream at the shop where my daughter works. Once again, my amazing son was my personal chauffeur, pushing me in a wheelchair all the way to the ice cream place. We laughed so much along the way—sometimes joy rolls right beside us, even on wheels. The next day was my daughter’s cross-country home meet (I already shared that in my “Learning to Navigate Daily Life ” post), and then later we went out for dinner. That night was harder. The restaurant was noisy and full of energy, but after a few days of quiet and stillness, the loudness felt overwhelming. No one really knew I struggled th...

  I had the honor of preaching while my husband was away on a men’s retreat. At first, I almost said no because I’m still healing from surgery. But God gently reminded me that He loves to use us in our weakness, and He began weaving this word together: “Prepared by Him, Preparing for Him” We are all preparing for the greatest wedding in history: the wedding supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:6–9). The church is the bride of Christ, and just as a bride doesn’t walk casually down the aisle, we cannot approach this moment unprepared. Our preparation begins with salvation, then continues with holiness, devotion, and love. 1. Esther’s Example — Preparing with Purity and Preference Esther 2 gives us a powerful picture of preparation: A year of cleansing, washing, and being set apart for the king. Instead of demanding her own way, Esther asked what the king preferred. Her heart posture was: “Not my will, but Yours, Lord.” Just like Esther, we are called to surrender our d...

When it comes to Achilles surgery, no two patients are the same. So when my doctor and I talked about a return-to-work date, we agreed that three weeks post-surgery would be a good—though aggressive—goal. For me, it wasn’t just about healing; it was also practical. I’m only in my second year teaching high school , and I don’t have a large sick bank saved up. September 12th became my target date. At times, that day felt so far away , and at other times, it felt way too soon. Leading up to it, I had a swirl of emotions: Some days, I longed for normal routine again.  Other days, I battled fear.  Will I be strong enough? Can I really stay awake a full day? Will my leg be safe in crowded hallways with energetic teenagers? I eventually came to terms with this truth: going back to work, I wouldn’t be at 100%. But I could give 100% of what I had that day.   And you know what? Day one went fantastic. I loved seeing everyone again, meeting the new freshmen, and feeling that fa...

 One sweet surprise during this healing journey has been the gift of a paint by number set. On the days when the house was quiet—when everyone else was gone—it became a lifeline for me. I’d turn up the worship music, pick up my brush, and just sing, paint, and cry before Jesus.  There’s something so comforting about those moments. The act of painting slowed me down, the worship reminded me I wasn’t alone, and the tears reminded me I was safe in His presence. Sometimes it was just me, the Lord, and the canvas—and honestly, those were some of the most intimate times of prayer I’ve ever had.  I ended up painting red flowers , and as they came to life on the canvas, I couldn’t help but think of the blood of Jesus that makes all things new. The flowers were beautiful, but even more beautiful was the reminder that He brings beauty out of pain, joy out of mourning, and healing out of brokenness.    Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and sav...

 The long-awaited day finally came— cast removal day! I was honestly excited but also a little nervous. When you’ve had a cast on for weeks, you can’t help but wonder: “Is it actually healing under there? What’s it going to look like?” When they pulled out the saw, my heart rate definitely spiked. I had this irrational fear they’d nick my incision or make me jump from the vibration. Thankfully—no pain, no mishaps, and the best part? The doctor looked at my incision and said it was healing “ nicely. ” Music to my ears.  Of course, then came the stitches removal.  Let’s just say, that part wasn’t as pleasant. I distracted myself by staring at the bone posters in the room, trying to pronounce words I’ll never use in everyday conversation. Silly as it sounds, it worked! Before I knew it, the stitches were out (though not without a few winces), and I could breathe again. Then came the next step— new cast time . I picked blue (one of my favorite colors 💙). But wow, this ...

 I finally decided to let some people decorate my purple cast—but with one very important requirement: you had to add scripture before signing your name . If I was going to carry this thing around, I wanted it full of life-giving encouragement! Plus, as a pastor, getting kids to open their Bibles and pick a verse? Total win-win.  Before anyone else touched it though, I had one big request: I wanted a crown drawn right on top. 👑 Why? Because I’d been thinking a lot about James 1:12 : “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” Thank you Baylee for doing  a great job on the crown!  It was a sweet time—laughs, Bible verses, doodles, and lots of love. But here’s the kicker: silly me, we decorated it on a Saturday and Sunday… and then Monday afternoon the cast came off.  All that beautiful artwork, all that scripture, lasted just a coupl...

  The first cool days fast approached and suddenly it was 50 degrees outside… and I had no pants that would fit over my cast . Now listen, I hate being cold. The toes already had their struggles, and now my legs wanted to join the party. So, what’s a girl to do? Amazon. Wide-leg yoga pants. Next day delivery.  And let me tell you, when that package showed up, it felt like Christmas morning. Finally—I had pants that fit over my cast and kept me warm. Victory! It made me laugh though, because comfort vs discomfort is such a tricky thing. In life, we aren’t really called to chase comfort. In fact, following Jesus often means stretching, being uncomfortable, and learning to trust Him in the cold, awkward, not-so-pretty seasons. But sometimes… pants that fit really do help. 😉 James 1:2-4 reminds us: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance fi...

One of the challenges of being a teacher is that my injury happened right before the school year began. I didn’t have anything prepared, and honestly, I was confused and felt like a bit of a mess when it came to work. The timing felt overwhelming. But even in the middle of the chaos, I found little ways to stay connected. I checked emails often to keep up with my team, and when “Tropic Like It’s Hot” dress-up day came around, I joined in from home with my Hawaiian shirt.  It may have just been a small gesture, but it brought joy and helped the time pass. Balancing healing while still communicating with coworkers has been tricky. Some days I felt like I was doing too little, other days like I was trying to do too much. But I’m learning to give myself grace . Grace to heal. Grace to miss things. Grace to not have it all figured out. 2 Corinthians 12:9    “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Even when I feel weak or unprepared, God’s gr...

  Okay, let’s be real for a minute—showering with a cast is basically a workout in itself. Between wrapping, balancing, and praying not to slip, showers have become… less frequent 😂. And don’t even get me started on shaving. My trusty cast protector works so well that it has created the perfect greenhouse for hair growth. The other night, my daughter sat down next to me, looked at my leg, and just started laughing uncontrollably. Apparently, the section of my leg that hasn’t seen a razor in nearly a month now looks like it belongs in a wildlife documentary 🦍. So here’s my question: when I go in for my next appointment, should I bring a razor and sneak in a quick trim before they recast me? (Don’t worry, I’d stay far away from the actual incision—no risks here! 🙅‍♀️) Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. Proverbs 17:22 reminds us: “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” And let’s be honest, in this season of pain, recovery, a...

  “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) Navigating daily activities has been more challenging than I imagined. Simple things that I once took for granted now require planning, help, or creativity. But one of the hardest emotional challenges came when I realized it was the start of cross country season —my daughter’s senior year. If you’ve never been to a cross country meet, you may not know that it’s not just the runners getting a workout. The spectators do too! Parents and fans often jog or run from one viewing point to another just to catch those precious few seconds of encouragement as their runner passes by. Realizing that I wouldn’t be able to run from spot to spot this year broke me. I even cried about it in the doctor’s office—it felt so crushing. That morning also brought a taste of fall’s arrival. It was in the low 50s, and my toes were freezing. I couldn’t find a sock or slipper that would fit over my cast to keep me warm. After ...

  “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” — 1 John 3:1 (NIV) Friday August 29th, was my one-week post-op check-up, and to be honest, I wasn’t fully prepared for what I saw. When the nurse unwrapped my leg, I got my first look at the incision. It was much bigger than what had been explained to me. The skin looked stretched, there was bruising, and my heart sank a little. Then came the X-rays, which left my calf aching since the cast that had been protecting it was gone. The pain wasn’t intense, but it was noticeable—almost like my body was reminding me how fragile healing can feel. Afterward, the surgeon came in and explained that the incision was larger because once he got in there, he realized there was more damage than expected and it had been harder to repair. That was not the news I wanted. I wanted to hear, “You’re healing faster than expected!” or “Everything looks perfect.” Instead, I had ...

  “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NIV) Tuesday, August 26th, was one of the hardest days yet— painful both emotionally and physically. It marked one week post-op for Anthony, and he had two appointments: one with the surgeon and one with physical therapy. It was during these visits that we learned there was some nerve damage . With it came a lot of pain during movement, and even more concerning, certain parts of his hand showed signs of paralysis. They made him a new brace, but all the movement—both from the surgeon and the physical therapist—caused his nerves to scream with such intensity that it left us shaken. Fear tried to settle in as we wondered, “Why this setback, Lord?” That day was full of tears, medicine adjustments, and so many prayers lifted up. In the midst of the storm, I was incredibly thankful for the prayers of others and especially for Abigail, who simply opened the Bible and began reading al...

  “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” — 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) Shortly after my surgery came the first day of school . As a high school teacher, this is usually one of my favorite days of the year—the energy, the excitement, and this year especially, the joy of having both of my kids, Selah and Titus , in the same school with me. I had pictured driving to school together, walking into the building with them, and grabbing those special first-day photos. But instead, I had to watch them head off without me. My own “first day” with students won’t come until later in September, once I’ve healed more. And while I know in my heart that it’s only a few short weeks, emotions hit hard . Disappointment, sadness, and even some grief tried to take over. But I’m learning in this season to surrender each thought and emotion to the Lord. He reminds me that while my plans have shifted, His purposes have not. My heart may ache, but His peace is greater. There will...

  “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” — Colossians 1:17 (NIV) One of the hardest parts of this healing journey has been learning how to be still. If you know me, you know I love to stay active. I wear a Garmin watch and get excited about hitting high step counts and joining step challenges. Having that taken away from me—literally not being able to walk—has been harder than I ever imagined. And to be honest, I don’t think anyone can fully prepare you for the mental side of surgery recovery. It’s tough physically, yes, but when the house is quiet and my family is gone at work or school, the battle in my mind is even harder. In those moments, the only real option I’ve had is to lean into the Lord—crying out to Him, resting in His promises, and letting Him meet me in the silence. One song that has carried me is “Quiet” by Elevation Worship. The lyrics remind me that I am not alone in my healing. God is always near. A few lines that have been my prayer...

  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” — Isaiah 43:2 (NIV) Reflection of surgery day:  Surgery day finally arrived. We had to be at the hospital bright and early—around 6 a.m.—with my surgery scheduled for 8. My first thought that morning was, “I sure hope I use the bathroom before they put me under!” (lol, the things you think about when you’re nervous). My administering nurse, Corky, was such a blessing. She was peaceful, kind, and so easy to talk with. She shared about her church and her own surgery experiences, and it was clear she carried the peace of Jesus with her. In an environment that could feel intimidating, she made it feel calm and safe. She even did my IV with such care that I barely felt it. God knew I needed her that morning. I was also grateful that my husband could come back and...

 This year, my husband’s birthday looked so different than we imagined. Pain, recovery, and the weight of our daily changes made it hard for it to feel like a “normal” birthday. Even with a birthday sign and balloons to bring cheer, and pizza ordered in place of going out, the day carried a heaviness. I wanted so much to keep everything light and joyful, but as the evening went on and we reached for ice cream, emotions I had been holding back surfaced. My heart ached, and I cried on my husband’s birthday. But in that moment, my husband showed who he really is. Gentle. Patient. Kind. Understanding. He didn’t brush off my tears or make me feel guilty for them. Instead, he met me with compassion and grace—the same way he so often does. His quiet strength and steady love continue to remind me of God’s goodness in giving me a partner who reflects His heart so well. Birthdays aren’t just about cake, balloons, or big celebrations. They are about honoring the person God made—and my husb...

  “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” — 1 Corinthians 12:27 (NIV) This week, I have been so overwhelmed with gratitude for my church family. They have been showing us love in action in such a practical and powerful way—by bringing us meals. And not just any meals, but healthier, yummy meals that bless both the body and the soul. Normally, Anthony or I would handle most of the cooking in our busy household. But with both of us recovering from surgeries, meal prep quickly became one of those heavy burdens that felt overwhelming. Having brothers and sisters in Christ step in to fill that need has lifted such a weight off our shoulders. Not only did they feed us, but I also now have some new recipes to add into our family rotation. What a gift! These meals were more than food—they were reminders that we are not walking this road alone. The love and care of our church family has truly been the hands and feet of Jesus to us. “Carry each other’s bur...

  Scripture of the Day “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” — 1 John 3:18 (NIV)  This day started with a beautiful surprise— love in action. My 14-year-old son woke up early and went to work on a ramp for me so I could safely get in and out of the house. He made a plan, used power tools, and built it out of scraps we already had—completely free. Watching him do this touched my heart deeply. It was more than a ramp—it was a picture of Jesus in him, serving and loving without being asked. He’s growing into a young man who looks like Christ, and that brought so much encouragement to my mama heart. Later in the day, it was MRI time. A huge thank you to Selah and Abigail for driving me and making sure I got there safely. Having them by my side is such a gift. Now, let’s be real—the MRI experience is not one I’ll soon forget. There are some things I wish they would have told me: It’s loud. Repetitive, mechanical noises that ch...

  Photo by Nicola Barts : https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-mother-and-daughter-looking-at-the-mirror-together-7944368/ Let us start by saying that no autistic child is “inflicted” on a parent, or that parents of autistic children love them any less, or would want them any other way. Often, their condition can give way to some amazing moments of bonding and love, and help the strength of their personality show even more clearly. Yet it’s important not to be patronizing or saccharine either, as autism is considered a disability. This means there will be special challenges and difficulties that come with managing it, no matter if your child low or high-functioning. Moreover, sometimes, these added struggles can be very draining on parents. It’s entirely understandable to feel that way. As such, parents supporting an autistic child deserve self-care management too, when they have time to practice it. That’s why many developing tools, such as the top apps for autism , have been embraced ...

One of the sweetest gifts God has given me during this season of healing has been worship. Music has always had a way of reaching deep into the soul, but in this journey of injury, surgery, and recovery, I’ve experienced it in a whole new way. I’ve been especially encouraged by artists who have walked through their own valleys and allowed their pain to become praise. Forest Frank and David Crowder—both of whom have walked through healing journeys—teamed up to write a song that has touched me deeply. Seeing the Body of Christ come together in unity, sharing testimonies of God’s goodness even in pain, has been a powerful reminder that we are never alone. During the long days of waiting and the restless nights, I’ve had these songs on repeat: Forest Frank – Lemonade This song reminded me that God can take even the sourest seasons of life and bring something sweet out of them.   Forest Frank – Selah  “Selah” became a pause button for my heart—an invitation to rest, breathe, ...